Monday, June 28, 2010

Things Movies Have Taught Me

From all of the movies I've seen there are so many that have become my favorites. And from all of these movies there are a few things that I've learned from them.


17 Again: You really can be 17 again and have a rocking body at that.

The Bourne Identity: You can stab someone with a pen with much effectiveness

The Bourne Supremacy: Don't try and hide in India, they will find you and they will kill your significant other.

The Bourne Ultimatum: You can kill an assassin with a book.

A Cinderella Story: Your secret admirer will never be an axe murderer but a hot guy from you high school.

The Dark Knight: Clowns aren't scary but instead are severely bad-ass.

27 Dresses: If someone annoys you enough you will end up happily married to them

Driving Lessons: Crazy old ladies make the best of friends

Eagle Eye: Never trust computers that can think for themselves

Elizabethtown: You can peak on the phone

Enchanted: If you're an animated character you will end up a real person smack dab in the middle of New York.

Hairspray: You can always take down the jealous bitch lady and steal her stuck-up daughter's boyfriend.

Harry Potter 1: If you're a wizard you will be informed of this by a giant with an umbrella

Harry Potter 2: You can kill a giant snake with a glittering sword

Harry Potter 3: The tress will attack you if you piss them off

Harry Potter 4: Anyone can battle a dragon but defeat a man with no nose? Not so easy.

Harry Potter 5: You can suffer from extreme teen angst

Harry Potter 6: In every cave there are dead people in the bottom of its lake

Haven: You can make very powerful acid in a high school science class

He's Just Not That Into You: If a guy acts like he doesn't give a shit then he genuinely doesn't give a shit.

High School Musical: If you sing with some random person at a lodge you will fall madly in love with them later

High School Musical 2: You can work at a resort and no one will think you're weird for breaking out into song

High School Musical 3: Graduating high school is way less exciting then you think.

Jumper: If you fall in a lake you will end up in the middle of a library and have no idea how you got there

Law Abiding Citizen: Sometimes innocent people go to jail while the guilty go free.

Mamma Mia!: If you don't know who your father is just break out into song and you'll find him

Mean Girls: You really can take down the mean girl but you'll become the new bitch on the block

Nancy Drew: If you try and solve a case that's not yours to solve your father will be kidnapped

Ocean's Eleven: You can knock over 3 casinos with a talented group of cons who happened to be the best looking group of guys you have ever seen

Ocean's Twelve: Foreign people can move through lasers without being detected

Ocean's Thirteen: If you mess with someones good friend you will be taken for all your worth

Pirates of the Caribbean 1: You can trust pirates if they're from the Caribbean and not Somalia

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: If you're engaged and you kiss someone else your fiance will not take it well

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: If you're stuck in Davey Jones Locker you will go crazy. But don't worry your ship will be there to keep you company

The Proposal: If you're male your boss will blackmail you into marrying her. If you're female your assistant will be extremely hot.

Sherlock Holmes: You can successfully fake your own death

She's the Man: If you dress up like a guy you will get the guy

10 Things I Hate About You: The guy who was paid to take you out will fall madly in love with you

Troy: It is possible to start a war over a chick

Twilight: If you walk into the woods, a vampire will follow you and demand you to tell him what he is, all the while never looking at you

New Moon: Werewolves are way better company then Vampires

Up: If you want to go places take your house will you

Up In the Air: Even the George Clooney types get cheated on. All hope is lost

Without A Paddle: High up in the mountains, red necks are growing acres of pot

Wish Upon A Star: If you wish to become your sister it will happen

X-Men: There are people out there who are different from you. Be jealous

X-Men 2: You can attempt to kill a whole race of people will just your mind

X-Men The Last Stand: If you try and cut your wings off they will grow back. Plus it's quite painful.

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